Kylie. New York. 18.
This is strictly a personal blog. I don't reblog here, instead I vent, I write, and I don't worry about who reads it because, honestly no one really does. If you happen to stumble upon this, you're of course free to read. However, keep in mind that what I write here is completely unrestrained. I say exactly what I feel, no matter how inappropriate, mean, rude, or spiteful it may be. It's uncensored and does not play by society's rules, and that's the way it was meant to be.

Ask

I need a connection
Past this cyberspace
Ive come to love.
I can’t feel the keyboard
Like I can feel you.
Could feel you.
If only
You were here.

Once, twice, three times.
I took advantage.
I didn’t know what I had,
I didn’t know who you were.

How’s it different now?
I can’t honestly say.

I say “come back”
"I miss you"

But I don’t know you.

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Ah tonight was perfect. I went to the Eroom and saw some nice friendly faces. Then I went to Beer Belli since Alex invited me, he said he was with some other ESFers. I went, not really thinking about the fact that I wouldn’t know anyone. But it was great! I meant a bunch of new friends and recruited a few SUOC members and got a little drunk. Overall a great night full of many laughs.

Boy am I glad school has started.
And that I live within a block of a couple of great bars.

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We’ve become so desensitized

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I’m going to complain about how awful this day is so I can get it out of my system and move on.
-ESF dropped me from my lab section and assigned me to a new one without even telling me. And the new one is during the outing club meetings which are mandatory for me since I’m the treasurer. 
-The only other open lab section in Thursday nights 6-9 which SUCKS for so many reasons but mainly that that’s when eroom hours are and that means I’ll have to miss trivia night too at the bar next door to the eroom. It also means my bike has a much higher chance of being stolen since it’ll be on campus after dark. 
-I also am scheduled to work next thursday during my new lab time, as my only shift all week. 
-I can’t even email my new availably or anyone to ask to cover my shift because for some reason my email isn’t working, so I need to fix that.
-Also I can’t get my school email address to work on my phone..

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Ha so I’m watching Hook for the time and I’m high and dude it’s like think of a happy thought and you can fly and that’s exactly how I feel you need to be when on drugs hehe

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So Jake is coming to Syracuse in a few months. It’s gotten to the point where I like him so much I feel like I can’t really see anyone else. It’s such a confusing situation. He’ll probably get this job in Washington, which means he’s literally on the other side of the country indefinitely. So should I really be holding on off on other potential guys for him? 

I just can’t imagine not being single when he comes.

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It really is crazy how much I miss him. 
I feel like miss can’t even be the right word, since we honestly never spent that much time together. 
I think it’s just the feeling of knowing. Knowing you should be together, be having adventures and plunging into eachother’s souls and not being able to have that connection. 
We talk and it gives us a glimpse. I slight view into what things would be like if we were here together. 
I smile so wide. I see him and wish I could touch him. Just brush up against him. 
I want him here. For good. To be mine.
These drunken thoughts. 
Disconnected.
Nonsensical. 
But mine, in this present moment.
To be laughed at by tomorrow. 
Written though to remember and recall this moment of serene yet heartache.
Missing him.
Missing us. 
That day at EForest. 
The best day.
Laying around, looking at each other.
Seeing each other.
Wanting each other. 
Those are the days I want back.
Soon enough. 
I dream.

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My theory is there’s so many dumb people today simply because odds and evolution. Longer back, the smarter people had a higher success at first at surviving and later on at reproducing, sot those genes were passed down. However, later on, it became less important of how smart you are when reproducing. This would cause an increase of the amount of people with stupid genes. Also it’d be the generally least smart people having the most amount of kids, and is still that way today.

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It’s amazing how much those messages make me smile

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